Literary limitation or laziness?

4 months. That is how long ago I posted anything on this blog. A lot of life happens in 4 months. VBS. Friends visit. Sister moves in. Family visits. Charlie born. More family visits. 900 mile road trip. Brother gets married. And all this aside from the events in life that are day to day, which can often be equally as important and interesting.

I don't know why I am surprised that I am delinquent or perhaps inept at personal reflection. It is the same old story come New Year's resolution time. "January 1: Dear Diary, I am so excited to start writing. My goal is to write every day...well, at least three times a week. Weekly." You know, or quarterly. Hmmm.

My husband recently wrote a blog post about the realization of personal limitations. As I read the post, glancing at my dusty blog link on the side of his page, I began to think. Perhaps personal reflection is one of my limitations. Or at the very least, recording them is. A lofty and unattainable dream of reflective literary brilliance.

At this point I remind myself of my incurable over-aspiration. I have been known now and then to chalk up mighty ambitious to-do lists for myself. Like cleaning the whole house plus doing all the laundry and grocery shopping by lunchtime. (Not realistic with two kids under 2). Or like spring cleaning the storage closet by bedtime when it's already 9 pm.

Inevitably I don't achieve my goal and get frustrated with my absurd limitations or asinine laziness. In my ministry classes in college we learned how to set visions, missions and goals that are realistic and practiced planning reasonable steps to attain them. Something must not have computed.

I think that is part of my problem in blogging. Each time I actually sit down to write a blog, I am determined to craft a post that has purpose and substance. A contribution worthy of the written word. A creative and intellectual outlet, rather than simply an Ann update.

For me that must just be too ambitious. I am not a writer. Reflective prose is not my proclivity, and to push myself to it is laborious & time consuming. The composition doesn't just flow so when it takes a lot of effort, I don't find myself drawn to the blogosphere with the impluse to write very often.

So limitation + laziness = quarterly blog posts. Perhaps I ought to rethink the over-zealous blogging expectations I have laid for myself before the blogging powers that be decide that I am not worth their time.


Highlight of my week: Finally having everyone in the house healthy!